I woke up refreshed as could be. Jason looked a little worse for the wear. Our conversation began something like this...
"How are you doing this morning?"
"Okay...you're not nervous or anxious or anything?"
"Nope, why would I be? Hey...when can we get the others kids?"
"Honey (slowly and with much trepidation)...what time do we need to leave? 10am, right?"
"Ummm..Nope! Because I'm not having surgery. I already told you I changed my mind! I made a mistake, this isn't the right time."
"We need to talk..."
And so with 30 minutes to go before the estimated time of departure, my husband gently and lovingly laid it all out for me. Explaining that he understood that I was nervous and scared, that he knew how hard this was, and that there will never seem like a "perfect" time for something like this, he told me that this was something that I needed to do. It was important for my overall health and quality of life. And today was the day.
I swallowed hard, looked at him, and quietly turned around to gather my things. Said goodbye to Ella and Hattie and hugged them hard. The van was warmed up and I solemnly accepted that surgery was upon me and I buckled myself in.
We arrived at the Mercy Same Day Surgery Center and I checked in. The phone rang as I called my mom and told her that I was in the waiting room. Our conversation was cut short as my name was called and I was ushered back to the surgery prep room. I was handed a fancy hairnet (which was 10 sizes too big and kept falling down over my eyes) and gown.
I met with Dr. Ho. She was the anesthesiologist. What an answer to prayer she was. She was so calming, so confident in herself and her abilities, and most of all...has a sensitive body just like me. I immediately felt some of the fear melt away. I was so glad that she would be taking care of me. Dr. Ho told me that she would be watching me constantly. The anesthesia I would be given would be one that had very few side effects as far as the nausea would go. They were planning on intubating me, but I voiced my concern and she went to go talk with the surgeon. Together they decided I would be able to get by on an LMA. It goes into your throat but doesn't go past your voicebox like a typical intubation tube does. Once she was done, the surgeon came in, marked with his sharpie so he knew right where to go to repair my muscle separation and fix the hernia. They departed and left Jason and I alone in the room while they prepped the surgery room. I called mom one more time, she prayed with me over the phone, and I hung up to spend the last few minutes just talking with Jason.
I was pretty nervous.
Soon the curtains were pulled back and I was asked to get into the wheelchair. They were ready for me. The operating room was so stark white, cold, and uninviting. So glad I don't work there! They had me crawl up onto the operating table and we laughed about the "non pillow" they have for your head. That's it. That's all I remember.
Next thing I knew, I was waking up in the recovery room, Jason by my side. I had done it...the surgery was now in the past and I was so relieved. There wasn't any pain or nausea...yet.
It was so wonderful to leave the surgery center and I was looking forward to starting the long healing process.