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We had been up north for Christmas with my family. It was the last Christmas in my parents' house. In just a few short weeks they would be moving down to the twin cities. Jordan was home on leave, Zyra and Aaliyah had made the journey from Milwaukee, Jamie was home from school, and Jill would be bringing Jory for his first Christmas. It was a big deal. All of us kids under one roof one last time.
Emotions were high. Lots of changes had been happening. Lots of transitions were taking place.
It was difficult leaving my mom and dad's house. It was the last time I would ever set foot there, the last time I would sit and drink tea with my mom in that living room, the last time I would look out at her beautiful greenhouse. It was the weekend of "lasts".
On top of that, I had gotten sick that week. Exactly 1 week before surgery I came down with a cold/cough. It was stressing me out to say the least. Surgeries like mine were cancelled on account of colds and coughs and I had no back-up date. No "Plan B". The week progressed and so did my cold. By Friday, I was feeling completely horrible and I just knew I needed to go into Urgent Care in Thief River. Jason drove me and we sat for an hour and a half just to see a doctor. He looked me over, wrote a heave duty prescription, and sent me on my way. A sinus infection. Levofloxacin.
~Maybe a chance that this surgery would get cancelled.
I called the surgeon and explained what was going on, he said that 72 hours of that hefty antibiotic and I should be just fine for Monday's surgery. Ugh.
So on Sunday, December 21, Jason, Ella, Hattie, and I left for home. Ben, Lily, and Cora would be staying at Grammie and Papa's house until December 26. They would be bringing Jordan to the airport to head back to California at that time. It seemed liked the wisest thing to do...lighten our load during the biggest part of the recovery period.
I held back so many tears on that trip home. Tears of sadness, tears of loss, and tears of anxiety. Lots of them couldn't be contained and they spilled out down my cheeks.
We arrived home, got unpacked, I did some laundry and tried to prep for my looming surgery. Jason put the girls to bed and I sat down on the couch and my emotions poured out of my like a raging waterfall. I cried until there were hardly any tears left. Blew my nose, gathered myself together. and turned on the tv.
Jason came into the living room and gently asked how I was doing. The conversation went something like this:
"Hi Honey...how are you doing?"
"Fine, thanks. :)"
"Fine? That's good, I wasn't expecting that..."
"I feel great, why not? Wanna watch some tv?"
"Um...I guess I thought you might be getting a little anxious or nervous."
"Nope! Why would I be? Wanna watch some tv?"
"Uh....because of your surgery tomorrow..."
"Oh that...yeah, I decided I'm not going."
"WhAt??"
"Yeah, I'm not going to do it. It's too stressful, I'm not ready, Hattie's not ready, the timing is off...and yeah, not going to do it."
"But we have everything lined up, we have people ready to help, you weaned Hattie, you have all your supplies, the insurance issue has been taken care of...blah, blah, blah..."
"Yeah, I understand all of that, but I'm. Not. Going."
And so I went to bed that night feeling wonderful. The weight of the world was off my shoulders, I slept like a rock, and didn't give that surgery a second thought.
My poor husband however, was on a rollercoaster ride he wasn't too sure of...
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