They Don't Stay Little for Long

Can someone please tell me how this happens?

I don't understand the crazy phenomenon where you blink or look away for only a minute...and when you turn back around, they have grown up a little bit more.

So many times I stop and look at this girl, wondering where the time has gone. At times I choke up and wonder how she has "gotten so big". Tonight I tucked her into bed and gently crawled under the covers with her. I'm so glad I took the time to snuggle with her, listen to her thoughts from the day, and listen to her breathe. That 10 year old who no longer fits in my arms, but instead stands as tall as my chin and wears the same size shoes as me.  These snuggling days are fleeting too. And I know that. This girl...she makes me marvel at motherhood all over again.

Throw Back Thursday

I came across this pic and couldn't believe that Hattie was this tiny once...

And look how little Lily looks! How the time flies...

When You Think You Own The Place

This dog-gone mutt...she thinks she owns the joint.

Can someone please tell her she's just a "dog"...

Aqua Chucks

We were out shopping the other day at JCPenny and we happened upon the shoe section. I squealed when I saw these shoes...they were the exact ones I had fallen in love with for myself...just a much tinier version. A mini-me version, if you will!

I just knew that I was not going to leave the store without them...

And now you know why...they are so stinkin' cute!! Hattie loves them. :)

Florida Part 3

***Continued***

In Part 2 ...I hopped on the last flight back to MN and went straight to the ER and after a two night stay, as I was preparing to leave...

The doctor came into the room and introduced himself saying he was here for the surgery consult...

***

So there I sat, on the bed next to Hattie, looking at this doctor with his 2 assistants close by his side. I shrugged it off and sort of smirked. I guess that's one way for a doc to come in and break the ice...start it all off with a joke. So I decided to play along.

Me: Surgery, huh? Ummmm....okay.

 

Doctor: Yes, so I was asked to come down and speak with you today about her gallbladder. Now, I don't think there is a high likely hood of her actually having stones, but I have been...

 

Me: What?! Oh, are you serious? I'm so sorry, I thought you were just joking. Ummm...I'm sorry to tell you that you have the wrong room. We are just in here for a virus and I thought you were the pediatrician on call for the day coming to let us know when to expect getting discharged.

 

Doctor: OH! I am soooo sorry maam. I...ummm....I'm really sorry, my apologies.

 

Me: No problem, just glad it's a mistake. Have a good day. :)

 

And the doctor and his team took their exit. I looked at Hattie with wide eyes thinking to myself "Well good grief! This is why you hear of stories where people come in for heart surgery and end up getting a foot amputated or something!" They really really need to be more careful! Seriously!!

 

And as I sat there bewildered and dumbfounded that this had just occurred, the doctor re-entered the room. He looked at me and we had another conversation:

 

Doctor: This is Hattie Hubler, right?

 

Me: Yes (in a very tiny voice)

 

Doctor: And she had an abdominal ultrasound yesterday, right?

 

Me: Yes (in an even smaller voice)

 

Doctor: Then...I have the right room, maam. I do need to discuss your daughter's gallbladder with you.

 

And my eyes started to fill with tears. I felt like someone had punched me in the gut and I couldn't seem to find my voice at all anymore. My brain was whirling and my eyes were darting back and forth at all three of these people standing before me, trying to make sense out of what was taking place. I swallowed hard and felt a lump in the back of my throat and told him I needed just a minute to call my mom who was most likely just down the hallway searching out a snack. I knew that my brain was just not going to absorb all of this information since it was still traveling at the speed of confusion.

 

I quickly dialed best I could as my hands shook. It rang and went to voice mail. I frantically hit redial and once again it went to voicemail. I knew that I was going to have to calm down and focus. I took a deep breath and reluctantly looked up at him and told him that I was listening.

 

Dr. Rustad went on to say that the ultrasound showed that Hattie had some density in her gallbladder. He wasn't terribly concerned about it, but the pediatrician had ordered a surgical consult because of this abnormality. It seemed most logical that since it is so rare for a child of her age to develop gallstones, it was most likely just sludge.

 

**Rabbit trail: Here's a little medical information in case you (like I) didn't exactly know what the gallbladder is for. The gallbladder is a smaller, pear shaped organ that lives right underneath the liver. It's job is to store bile. Once you eat food, especially fatty foods, it releases bile to help your body digest your meal. It's a digestion-aid helper. :) How's that for medical jargon?!**

 

So Hattie's ultrasound showed sludge, but Dr. Rustad wasn't too worried. Why? Because he figured that the odds were so much more in her favor that she had a virus and this wasn't a gallbladder attack at all. And because it was most likely a virus which had caused her to thrown-up 19 times, she obviously hadn't eaten in a few days. Hence the gallbladder had not needed to spit out any bile to help digest anything, it had gotten a little sluggish and the bile itself had gotten a little thick just sitting around.

 

Not to worry, he told me...it is so rare for a 2 year old to develop gallstones...this most likely isn't anything to worry about. BUT...just to be on the safe side, come back in 3 months for a repeat ultrasound and we can rule it out 100%. And he left the room for the second time.

 

There Hattie and I sat, me stunned, shaking, and processing and Hattie playing games on the ipad.

 

My mom returned shortly after and I poured out all of the information I had been given. I didn't know what to make of this new information: should I be worried...or not. Is something more serious going on here...or not. Is there a possibility we will be back in this same hospital for surgery...or not.

 

My head spun and my heart ached.

 

Within an hour, the on-call pediatrician showed up, apologized like crazy for not giving me the heads-up for the surgery consult being ordered, told me not to worry...that it would be so rare for her to have gallstones, and told us we could get the IV out and head on home.

 

Hattie was such a trooper, she endured that IV so well and was so brave when they had to take rolls and rolls of tape off her arm in order to pull the thing out.

 

She was more than ready to have it gone.

She had to watch every little thing...



 

 

We changed her out of her little hospital gown, loaded our things into the wagon, and made our way to the van. The weather was cold, blustery, and white with snow. It's how I felt inside: cold and numb, thoughts whipping around in my head, and a blank canvas of not knowing what lied ahead.



Where Does The Time Go?

I am in utter disbelief that it has been so long since my last post. How does that happen?!?

In my defense, a lot has happened in our house that I will have to catch y'all up on. Things like lots of sickness, orthodontic appointments, moving my parents into their new home, a birthday for Hattie, and even a few broken bones for another member of the family.

I'm gonna make a strong push to get everything caught up...and to give you part 3 of the Florida/Hattie hospitalization saga. I see some blogging taking over parts of my weekend.

Really, it's no wonder I fall into bed half-dead each night...

Ta-ta for now...

Florida: Part 2

When I last left you in regards to our Florida trip, Jason and I had jetted off with all signs pointing towards Hattie being on the mend.

But life had a different idea in mind for us. Things took a turn for the worse on Friday with Hattie starting to begin the downward slope of dehydration yet again. Saturday proved to be very challenging and much time was spent on the phone with the ER back in Minnesota and the pediatrician as well as mom.

I caught a last minute flight out of Orlando getting the very last seat on the plane...and that's where the story had left off...

...As I sat in my seat of 30D, my eyes filled with tears while my heart was full of worry. I knew that in 3 short hours I would be touching down in Minneapolis where my brother would be waiting for me. I decided to call Jason to let him know that I had made it on the plane and we were going to be taking off momentarily. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: I'm on the plane...I made it...

 

Jason: Oh, good. Security wasn't too bad? Did you get find anything to eat? How's your seat? Oh...hold on, your mom is calling...

 

Me: ...waiting...
 

Jason: Hey Honey...Your mom wants to know if she should take Hattie to
Mercy's ER or to Children's ER...

 

Me: What?!? I thought they were just going to urgent care...they have to go to the ER!?!

 

Jason: Yeah, urgent care took one look at her and told your mom she needed to get her to
the ER.
 

Me (heart beating out of my chest): Children's ER, tell her to go to Children's ER.

 

Jason: Ok, I'll tell her. Love you, have a good flight.

 

 

And there I sat, with no other information other than that Hattie had to go to the ER right away. I felt trapped on a plane a million miles away from my baby. I tried so hard to hold it in, but I couldn't stop the flood of tears and emotion. I sat there in the plane with my head down, feeling my shoulders heave up and down as I watched the tears spill down onto my hands. I felt so helpless and sad and what I really needed was to simply hold my baby and tell her that she was so brave and that the doctors were going to make her better. To tell her that her mama was there and that everything was going to be all right.

 

God knew how I was struggling because He sent the sweetest lady to sit next to me. She handed me a packet of tissues and gently told me that if I needed to talk about anything, she was there. I never did get her name, but she was so kind and we talked for about 3/4 of the plane ride. It was a perfect distraction to help pass the time.

 

I hadn't eaten anything that day since breakfast and I was starving. God knew I was in need of something to eat as well. The flight was anything but smooth, in fact, the seatbelt sign was on for the entire flight. Turbulence was a constant companion...so much so that the flight attendants were having a hard time pouring the beverages and at one point looked like they were going to have to put everything away. I was so relieved when they made it to my row. I had my billfold out, ready to barter and spend a little cash just to get a bag of peanuts. The flight attendant asked me if I wanted peanuts, cookies, or pretzels. I asked her if I could get all three and I that was willing to pay for them. The kind woman next to me piped up and told her that my baby was in the ER and I was ending my vacation to make an emergency flight home. The flight attendant quickly gave me all 3 choices and told me it was on the house. She even checked on me during the flight to see how I was holding up. About 20 minutes before landing, she came by with a quart-sized bag full of snacks that she had put together telling me that "it might be awhile before you get a chance to eat". She was so generous and I could tell that God was providing for me through these women.

Once we landed, people started filing out. I made it all the way to the front of the plane before I realized that I had forgotten my carry-on in the overhead compartment! Whew...I was so stressed. I ran back and snatched it up and made my way quickly to baggage claim where Jamie would be picking me up. I left Florida in 92 degree weather and landed in Minnesota with 34 degree chilliness. My flip-flops and capris quickly proved to be the wrong choice of clothing.

We made the drive to the ER in good time. I walked through the door into Hattie's room and gently kissed her sweet head. I scooped her up and that is when my heart finally felt that it was where it was supposed to be.

 

Her poor, sick eyes had dark bags under them and she just looked like she had been put through a lot in the past 24 hours. When I commented on how "rough" she looked, my mom said that she had perked up a lot since the IV had been put in. I was just so thankful that we were somewhere that they could help her.

 

We were admitted to the hospital a few hours later and told that we should just plan on a two night stay minimum. They weren't about to let her go home until they were certain that she would not need to return.

 

Because there were two kids with chicken pox on the 8th floor (where we would normally have gone), we were put on the isolation wing. Which turned out to be an ok thing. Hattie was the only child there and so we had lots of great care. To top it off, the night nurse we had both nights was an incredibly compassionate woman and went out of her way to make us comfortable and allowed us to get as much rest as possible by being so quiet during the nighttime visits.  

 

The pediatrician wanted to get an abdominal ultrasound of Hattie's tummy on Sunday. Each time Hattie would eat, she would start writhing back and forth indicating that her stomach was hurting quite a bit. This could have been due to the fact that she had thrown-up a total of 19 times or it could have been from something else. And since they wanted to be thorough and not miss anything, we were wheeled down to ultrasound.

 

 

She did awesome with the ultrasound and was so still. Quite impressive for a 23 month old.

 

Sunday was spent trying to get Hattie to start eating and drinking on her own, but she wasn't interested. Instead we spent a good portion of the day watching tv. Nana and Paul came by for a visit which proved to be so wonderful. In true Nana-fashion, she came bearing presents which perked Hattie up and made her smile. That was the first smile I had seen from her since we got there. Nana and Paul played lots of things with Hattie and spent time doing activity books as well. Nana even got Hattie to eat some pudding. That visit was a huge success!

 

 

 

Monday morning showed signs of improvement. I gave her a sponge bath in hopes of getting her a little refreshed. She was starting to get bored in the hospital which was a very good sign that we were moving in the right direction. Grammie and I were running out of things to do to keep her entertained. The pediatrician ordered her iv fluids cut down by half  from 60ml to 30ml...and then again down to 10ml. I think it was hard for her body to want to drink on it's own when she clearly wasn't in need of any fluid and wasn't feeling the least bit thirsty.

 

 

Around late morning, I saw a doctor in the hallway. I figured it must be the pediatrician on duty for the day. Mom went for a walk to get some fresh air and I stayed with Hattie hoping to meet with the doctor and hear what the day's plan was...hoping we would get discharged and could go home.

 

The doctor came into the room and introduced himself saying he was here for the surgery consult...

 

***To be continued***