And I cried like a big ol' baby. Yep, that's what I did. The tears welled up and I couldn't stop 'em.
I called the National Benefits Center...just so I could hear them tell me "Yup, that I600 has been approved and is in Seoul"...just cause I wanted every doubt erased in my head that it was still sitting on someone's desk and to get confirmation that it wouldn't be long until I would be holding my Cora.
The phone rang, I gave them our receipt number, and I got the "let me transfer you to the Officer working on your case so you can get an update on where it's at." That about ruined me there...cause that was a dead give-away that it wasn't approved yet.
The Officer assigned to us said she had reviewed everything and just had to sign off on it...and when asked how long that typically takes, she said that it should be done within the next couple of days.
Not done yet. Not sent to Korea yet. Not approved.
Wreckage.
I was so upset. When I had talked to her 10 days earlier, (Yes, 10 days earlier) she had said that she was going to take care of it...and made it sound like things would be all finished very quickly. 10 days later and we still hadn't been signed off on yet?!?
I'm not sure if you all know our situation. Obviously, we want to get Cora home as soon as possible. It's in her best interest of course. The longer it takes for her to get home, the older she will be...and the harder this transition becomes. Lily's was rather excruiating, I won't lie...and she was 10.5 months old. Stranger anxiety kicks in around this time and it makes this very hard process into and incredibly hard process. And that's all an understatement, folks. ...Cora is now 8.5.
Due to childcare issues and who we are comfortable leaving 3 busy children with for a week, we are on a timetable as well if we are both going to be able to travel together to Korea. Our magic day is April 15. My mom, who I am so proud of, is a Master Garnener now. She will be heading up a new Garden Center in her town. She starts on...yep, you guessed it...April 15. In case this isn't making a whole lot of sense and I'm rambling (which is entirely possible), we need to travel and be back to the States by April 15 if it's going to work for both Jason and I to go and pick up Cora together.
What happens if that travel call doesn't come early enough? Well, we have decided together that Jason will stay home and I will travel to Korea. Luckily, I don't have to travel alone. My awesome uncle Todd has agreed to take a trip around the world with me. I can't even explain how much it means that he is willing to eat up vacation time, spent countless hours on a plane, help me when I'm a frazzled mess with a grieving baby, and be my support and sidekick for a week. Add to the fact that he's been to Seoul before and is an experienced world-traveler...I know I'll be in good hands if Jason can't come. But of course, best-case scenario is that Jason and I travel together, as parents, to pick up the newest member of our family.
I deeply
Do you feel my sense of urgency yet? If you do, tell me what I said so I can relay that to the National Benefits Center.
Anyway...
After much sobbing and a lot of kleenix, I remembered that God is in control of all of this. And as hard as this waiting can be, He knows what's best. He already knows that exact day that I will hold that little peanut in my arms...and be able to tell her in person that I love her and have longed for her.
...this is taking some reminding...cause this wait it hard y'all. It's hard. It's hard to have someone else raising your baby. It's hard to have someone else experiencing all of these "firsts". It's hard to have someone else offering comfort, hugs, and kisses. I'm grateful for Cora's fosterfamily and that they are taking such good care of her...but truth be told, I want that job. And I want it now. It's a purposeful thing for me right now...to remind myself that God has this all under control...and that His timing is perfect.
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.~ Philippians 4:6
If you would, we would love prayers. Prayers for trusting in His ultimate plan...and if that could possibly include a travel call soon...we would be so grateful.
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