Thursday, August 5, 2010

On This Very Day...One Year Ago

One Year Ago.


Time goes too fast.

One year ago today, I met my sweet little girl.

Little did I know that she would capture my heart in only a way that Miss Lily Jeeah could.

It's been an emotional day...thoughts stopping me at every turn...little memories popping into my head.

Memories brining me back once again...Meeting Lily

I swear I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach from when I woke up that morning, restless with anticipation. It was early, the city was just starting to wake up. The clock was ticking ever so slowly, time traveling at a turtle's pace. I wondered if 9:30 would ever arrive.

Eggs, toast, oj...trying to swallow them down past the lump in my throat. Nervous. Excitment. Head spinning. Thoughts kept coming into my head, whirling around...What would she be like? Would she like me? I can't believe I'm in Korea. I'm waiting to meet my daughter for the Very. First. Time. All surreal. All Unbelievable.

The walk from the Guest House to the SWS business building where our social worker was. The black van parked outside the front door waiting to take us to Jeeah's house. The driver starting it up and getting the air conditioning running. The small little elevator and pushing button number 6. I remember it. I remember it all.

There it is again, the jitters in my stomach as the elevator climbs upward. Everything is finally happening. And soon...well, soon, I will meet my daughter. The one who I have dreamt about for years, the one who I have prayed for, the one who's picture I have looked at on my fridge no less than a thousand times, the one who I so desperately and dearly love.

The elevator stops, the doors open, and Jason and I step out. The social worker's office is just to the left, the door is closed and my heels are clicking on the hard floor as I walk.

We are asked to have a seat and wait for a few minutes while the paperwork is finished up. The wait feels like hours when in reality it is only about 10 minutes. My heart beats fast as my pulse refuses to slow. The anticipation is staggering and it's so thick you could cut it with a knife. A Mama and a Daddy waiting with bated breath for the moment they have longed for...

Fast forward to today. August 5, 2010. Lily Jeeah has grown so much...she has grown into her place in our family. We have bonded so much over the course of the past year. Ups and downs. Steps forward and back. All to be expected in this lifelong journey of adoption. I have had the privledge of watching this amazing girl grow up. Lily Jeeah is compassionate, snuggly, loving, curious, and smart-as-a-whip. She has shown us her personality little by little and each day we get to see and know her a little more. Lily loves to read books in the morning while snuggling on mama's lap with her milk in her hands. She loves to be independant while trying new things like putting on her shoes. But she also likes to show who wears the pants in the family by letting Mama know what bite of food she wants and when. By pointing. And nodding her head. And picking the fork up and putting it in my hand.

She's a real go-getter, that little Lily. She has managed to single-handedly capture my heart. In one fell- swoop. Just like that.

Lily Jeeah...Mama loves you. You are my treasure. I am so grateful that God has allowed me to be your mama. I am so blessed to spend each and every day with you. I, indeed, am the lucky one. 

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